


almost there

by mysterytwin



Category: Trollhunters (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, CLAIRE AND TOBY BONDING, Fluff, Gen, Post-Canon, give me that season 2 bonding, platonic love all around, rated T for one (1) curse word, sorta anyway, tw: panic attack, what more could you want
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-16
Updated: 2017-09-16
Packaged: 2018-12-30 09:53:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12106143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mysterytwin/pseuds/mysterytwin
Summary: And there are things Toby will never understand, things that won’t ever make sense, but as Claire squeezes his hand under the bright lights of the Hearthstone just to reassure that he isn’t alone in this mess, he’s willing to give everything he has to get his best friend back.





	almost there

**Author's Note:**

> airheads was a really good episode but i need more so here

The world stops spinning.

Toby feels a little light-headed, and there’s a lot of panicking going on right now in his brain. His legs take him forward, going as fast as he can, towards the Killahead bridge, towards the stones, toward the closing portal, towards _Jim_ —

but he’s too late.

It shuts off in a second, the bridge standing tall and dark, taunting him. _Jim is gone_ , it seems to tell him, _and there’s nothing you can do about it_. But dammit, there has to be something he can do — maybe he can use the machine to shrink him down and use the Fetch to get there? No. Too risky. Maybe he can send another gnome inside to find Jim and knock some sense into his brain? No, he can’t let another gnome go through something like that again. Maybe Blinky could find a way to activate it — maybe, maybe, maybe. There _should_ be something he can do.

Because this is Jim they’re talking about. This is his dorky and super awesome best friend; the one and only friend he ever had for the last couple of years. Who’s going to fight by his side while he’s in there? Jim can’t do it alone — and Toby knows he _knows_ that. He knows. Then why did he do it?

Aaarrrgghh’s death had taken a toll on all of them — Blinky and Toby, most especially. Then why did he still — god, Jim, you _idiot_ — why did he still push through? Toby had lost two friends in the span of an hour. Two of his closest friends. Isn’t losing Aaarrrgghh enough? Why does the universe hate him so much?

_Jim, come back._

_Please_.

What’s going to happen on Taco Tuesdays? Who’s going to play video games with him on rough nights? Who’s he going to listen to Papa Skull with now? Who’s gonna help him get through the day?

What’s going to happen to Jim?

If Gunmar takes him, and touches one hair on his head, Toby is going to run into the Dark Lands himself and punch the living daylights out of that monster himself. He doesn’t care if he gets hurt or gets captured — he just needs to know Jim is okay.

Jim has always been there for him, and now it’s his turn to give back.

_(They’re nine years old, and the world is a block wide. They swing together on the playground, side by side. The sun shines above them, a little brighter than normal, and Toby is staring at the clouds._

_“Are you going to be okay? While Mom and I are gone? It’ll only be for a week, Tobes,” Jim tells him softly and carefully. They’ve discussed this before, and Toby had made sure Jim knew he was going to be okay. Apparently, he hadn’t said it enough._

_“Yeah, I’m sure,” he says again with more emphasis. “Just take pictures of the beach for me.”_

_Jim grins. “‘Course.” They settle into silence for a moment, and Toby swears he sees a dinosaur-shaped cloud. “I wish you could come.”_

_“Yeah, well, you know Nana,” he replies. “She gets tired easily, and she doesn’t like the beach very much. Plus, I don’t think it’s a good idea to leave her alone for a week. Who knows how many cats she’ll adopt while I’m gone?”_

_His best friend laughs. “Okay, okay,” he responds, still smiling. “I’ll text you every day.”_

_Toby has a feeling it’s going to be a little hard without Jim, but he’ll be okay. It’s just a week, anyway. “You better.”)_

It’s only been five minutes without Jim and Toby’s starting to feel like he’ll never see him again. Something claws at his throat, and he can feel the prick of tears threatening to spill. His heart is racing and his chest and oh god, Jim is going to die in there, and he feels so so _so_ numb with feeling everything at once. Why is so hot all of a sudden? His chest hurts and it feels clamped, and he can’t breathe. Toby can’t stop shaking, and and and—

“ _Toby_!” someone shouts and there’s someone standing next to him, but Toby is curled into a ball. “Toby, listen to me, you need to breathe!”

It doesn’t stop. The whole room keeps spinning.

“ _Toby_.” It’s softer this time, much calmer. His eyes focus on the person speaking, and Claire’s brown eyes look so peaceful. “Toby, deep breaths. It’s going to be okay.”

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

Okay.

It takes some time, but his heart slows down, and the room stops spinning.

“Thanks,” he mumbles out, shutting his eyes. A beat. He opens them again. “Thanks, Claire.”

She nods, and stands up, offering him a hand. “We should probably get out of here. Some light might do both of us good. Can you stand?”

“Yeah,” he says, and he takes her hand. They stumble back into the bright lights of Troll Market. Claire guides him, and he notices that she avoids the route where Aaarrrgghh is. He doesn’t say anything.

They make it to the steps, overlooking the Hearthstone. It’s as beautiful as ever.

“Are you okay?” she asks him once they’ve settled down next to each other. “You don’t have to answer that, if you don’t want to.”

“No, I just—” he pauses. “No. I’m not. Are you?”

Claire shakes her head slowly. “No.”

“At least we can be messed up together,” he offers weakly. That earns a smile from Claire. “Man, I hope Jim’s okay.”

“Me, too,” she says, her voice an almost whisper. Toby looks at her, surprised at how small she sounds. She folds up her knees, and buries her hands in her arms. “It’s all my fault.”

“What? Claire, no,” he reassures her quickly. “It’s not. You didn’t do anything. It was all Jim’s choice, and Angor Rot—”

“He went in there to save _my brother,_ Toby.”

He falters for a second, watching the conflicted look on Claire’s face. Emotions pass on it quickly, too fast for him to decipher what she’s feeling. “It’s not your fault,” he says instead. “I don’t know what you’re going through, I don’t know how you feel exactly, but we’re both Jim’s friend. And we need to find a way to help him. That’s the best thing we can do.”

She doesn’t look very convinced. “I told him we’d go together. Not…not like this.”

“Yeah, I wished he would’ve told me, too,” he mutters.

“I feel like I just met him, you know? It’s like the cute guy in my history class and play rehearsal becomes my friend, and then I learn he’s the Trollhunter and that my brother isn’t my brother, and then he’s just… _gone_.”

Toby nods. “Jim’s been my friend for as long I can remember — my only friend. And I was the first person he told about being the Trollhunter — there’s a lot of trust there, right? — but the guy doesn’t even tell me he plans on going into the Dark Lands on his own. And it’s…it’s like he never trusted me enough at all. And I know why he did it, of course I _know_ why he did it, but I wish he hadn’t, I guess.”

“Toby,” she says. “Jim trusts you with his life. Don’t ever doubt that.”

“It’s a little hard,” he says weakly.

“I know.” Her words are soft, gentle as she speaks. “But we have to get through this. For Jim.”

“Claire?” he whispers.

“Yeah?”

His words are a little broken. “What — what happens if he — if Jim dies in there?”

Claire doesn’t look too surprised. Her lips are pressed tightly as she takes his hand and stares directly into his eyes. “He won’t. You know why?”

He lets her continue.

“Because Jim is the bravest person I know. How many people would’ve done what he did right now? No one. If anyone can make it out there, even for a while, it’s going to be Jim.” Her words drop, turning quiet. “But if he doesn’t, if he doesn’t make it, then we help whoever the next Trollhunter is. We’ll try harder. But I hope it won’t come to that.”

“Okay.”

“And Toby?” She smiles at him. “If you want, I can be your friend.”

“Are you kidding?” he says, lightly nudging her with his shoulder. “You already are, Claire.”

Her smile makes him feel a little better.

And there are things Toby will never understand, things that won’t ever make sense, but as Claire squeezes his hand under the bright lights of the Hearthstone just to reassure that he isn’t alone in this mess, he’s willing to give everything he has to get his best friend back.

 

* * *

 

 

The next day comes with new hope, and the initial shock is starting to wear out. Things still aren’t easy, but things do get better. Claire and Toby go to school the next day, and they pretend everything’s okay. They say they don’t know where Jim is and maybe he’s just sick at home. They don’t have to fake their worry — that’s the realest part of this mess. Everything seems to go okay, for the most part.

But the hardest part has always been inevitable, and lying to Barbara Lake has never been one of Toby’s favorite things to do.

She’s always scared Toby, to be honest. Especially now, with her blue eyes brimmed with worry and her lips pressed tightly as she clutches the edges of the seat, her knuckles turning white. Her eyebrows are narrowed, a little more confused than angry. He’ll take what he can get.

“Jim never said anything? About leaving or something like that? Are you sure he showed no signs of—”

“Dr. Lake, if there was anything, I would’ve told you already,” Toby quickly replies. And it’s not a total lie; Jim entering the Dark Lands had been an almost impulse decision for sure. “I’m,” he glances at Claire for a brief second, “ _we’re_ as confused as you are. And as worried.”

She buries her face in her hands. “Jim…” she mumbles. “I thought — I thought we were okay. He was getting pretty distant, of course I noticed that, but I didn’t think—”

“Dr. Lake,” Claire interrupts, her eyes soft with a smile. “Wherever Jim is, I’m sure he’s fine. Toby and I won’t stop trying to contact with him, I promise you that. We’ll find him.”

The look on Claire’s face is more determined, and Toby can only nod back.

_We have to._

 

* * *

 

 

They continue to train.

Jim’s going to need them again one day, and they’re going to be ready. They’re going to be so good at fighting it’ll make Jim never want to leave them again.

Or, at least, that’s what Toby tells himself.

Training is its own usual, slightly boring routine, and frankly, it’s getting a little tiring — both physically and mentally. Toby doesn’t know how many more hours of this he can take.

“Come on, Toby! I’m already ten points higher than you are!” Claire exclaims, her hair sticking to her forehead with sweat. She looks tired, but is better at hiding it. “At least try!”

“Can’t we, you know, go on break for a bit?” he asks with a groan.

“You’ve been on break for the past twenty minutes,” she deadpans.

Toby huffs. “Fine, fine, whatever. But let me play some music while we do this, yeah?”

She rolls her eyes. “Make it good or I’m gonna be not-so-secretly judging your taste in music.”

Toby resists the urge to snort and puts on his training playlist. A hard rock song plays out its first beats, and Claire gasps.

“Papa Skull? No way,” she says with excitement. “You didn’t tell me you listened to them!”

“You never asked,” he retorts. “Come on, Shadow Dancer, let’s get this show on the road.”

“Says the guy who was groaning about training, like, two seconds ago,” she replies.

Toby shrugs. “What can I say? Papa Skull brings me life. Now tell me, Nuñez, what’s your favorite song?”

It’s one of the best training sessions he’s ever had to go through.

 

* * *

 

 

“Dr. Lake said the police are starting an investigation,” Toby informs Claire and Blinky, his fingers fidgeting with one another. “I know they won’t really find anything, but Dr. Lake will be crushed if they don’t. She’ll think Jim’s—”

“We can’t tell her,” Claire says. “That’s Jim’s choice.”

“Perhaps the best thing we can do is simply reassure her,” Blinky pauses for a moment, a grim look on his face. He looks more tired than ever, spending most of his time looking up books that can help them get into the Dark Lands without the Bridge. “I can no longer perform my duties as a guidance teacher, so it is up to you two.”

Claire passes Toby a look. “We’ll try our best.”

Blinky nods, but his shoulders slump, deflating. He brings an arm to his head and rubs his forehead. “I do hope Master Jim is alright.”

“I think we all do, Blink,” Toby adds, sitting down next to him. “It’s like everything is so much harder without him and Aaarrrgghh.”

“Aaarrrgghh had been my best friend for several centuries. We were, as you would say, a dynamic duo. We balanced out one another perfectly. He helped me out when my brother—” he stops, coughing. Toby swears he can see a tear roll down his face. Blinky’s voice turns quiet. “He was my best friend. With him gone for good, I don’t know what to do.”

Claire doesn’t hesitate and wraps her arm around Blinky. She shuts her eyes, closing them tightly. “We’re here,” she whispers. “If you need anything, we’re still here.”

Toby nods and joins the hug.

They’ll get through it.

 

* * *

 

  
Midnight, and something is buzzing. It’s loud, a familiar tune that almost sounds like a Papa Skull song. Huh. It is. And oddly enough, it’s also the song she placed as Toby’s ringtone—

“Claire?”

His voice is small and hoarse, almost like he’d been crying. She sits up, pressing her phone closer to her ear.

“Toby? Are you okay?”

There’s a pause.

“Toby?”

“Yeah,” he whispers. “Yeah. I, uh. Sorry to wake you. I just. I had a nightmare.”

“Oh,” she says.

“I mean, I know it’s dumb, and it’s stupid of me to get worked over a nightmare because it’s not even real, but it felt like it was — and I think I’ll just hang up now, sorry, see you in the morning—”

“Toby, wait!” she exclaims. Claire lets out a sigh of relief when the call doesn’t end. “Toby?”

“Yeah?”

“You having a nightmare isn’t stupid. I get them, too, sometimes. Mostly about my brother, that he’s not alive anymore. And I know it’s scary, but I have to keep going. For Enrique, right? But sometimes I can’t help it, and I break down and I cry, and I don’t want you to feel the same way because I know how _awful_ it feels like. And I. I’m here for you, Toby. Do you…do you want to talk about it?”

Another pause. A moment passes.

“Jim was dead.”

Oh.

“I—” she hesitates. She had to handle this carefully. “It was just a dream, okay? Jim isn’t dead.”

“But how do you know that? He could be, Claire! He’s in the Dark Lands; anything could happen to him there! And if — if Jim is gone — I don’t know what I — shit, Claire, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do without him. He’s always been there for me, you know? And I feel like I’m letting him down, like I’m not trying hard enough to get to him. And then I think — what if he doesn’t want me there? What if I show up there to help him and he pushes me away? What if things change when he comes back? If he comes back? What do I do?” His voice breaks, and Claire is definitely sure he’s crying.

“Toby,” she says softly, calmly. “Jim went in there to protect us — because he cares about us. He loves us, and he wouldn’t have done what he did if he didn’t. Okay? It was a nightmare. Jim is alive. I don’t know for sure, but we just need to believe he is. Hope is all we have.”

A beat.

“Okay.” Toby’s voice is still quiet. “Okay.”

“I know,” she says. “How about we talk about the things we love about Jim? To keep us motivated?”

“That…that sounds good. You can go first.”

“I love how caring he is, and he won’t give up on you. He was willing to defend me from goblins, even though he ended up in a hospital afterwords. He showed up to the play, even after he just came from a fight. And before I knew he was the Trollhunter, he was already really sweet to me. He’d give his best in rehearsals even though he was just the understudy for a while, or even if he looked really tired. And that letter he wrote me once? It didn’t make sense, that he thought he was going to die, but now it does. And he really believes in me? I don’t even believe in myself that much, you know? But he does, I guess, and I don’t think I’ll ever know why. But that’s okay. He wants to save my brother for me. That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me — heck, _nice_ doesn’t even cover it. He’s amazing. And wonderful. He’s such a great friend, and don’t even get me started on his eyes. They’re so blue and they’ve got so much _light_ — so much life in them. And there are days when that light in him is out, and I just want to hug him tight enough to make everything okay again. He deserves more than this.”

“Seems like you’ve got it pretty bad, Claire-bear,” Toby muses teasingly.

She rolls her eyes. “Okay, it’s your turn.”

Toby laughs, and she’s glad he does. “I love him because he hasn’t given up on me, _ever_. Even on my low days, he makes me nachos because they’re my favorite. He sends me cute pictures of cats when I’m sick, just to make me feel better. And he sits through all my weird phases, listens to me when he has no idea what I’m talking about. Like, I rambled about _The King and I_ for three hours straight and he didn’t complain at all. He’s always there for me, and he gets me, you know? I never have to explain myself, and he’s never made me doubt myself once — well, not until today, but whatever, right? And there was this one time when we were eating ice cream after a pretty rough day, and we were just messing around, and at some point Jim laughed — god, sometimes I see him smile and I wish to whoever’s out there that he never has another bad day again because he deserves to smile more. This troll business really stresses him out, and I wish he could take breaks. He deserves to be happy. I want to see his smile like that more.”

Claire doesn’t say anything. She can’t.

If she thought Toby and Jim were a dynamic duo before, then now she believes it more than ever. She’s always believed that sometimes two people are meant to meet in a lifetime, and right now, she has no doubt that it’s them.

“Claire? You still there?” Toby says, worried. “Heh. That rhymed. Okay, but seriously, did I bore you to sleep? Claire?”

“And you say I’ve got it bad,” she mutters.

Toby laughs from the other end of the line. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to steal him from you. He’s, like, totally into you. But I can’t say how much, bro code and stuff.”

She smiles, a blush spreading on her cheeks. “Yeah, I understand.”

“Hey, Claire?”

She hums. “Yeah?”

“Thank you,” Toby says, his voice small. “Thank you for being here, for helping me. I don’t know what I’d do if you weren’t here right now.”

Claire smiles, and she feels a little small compared to the world around her, but that’s okay. “You, too, Toby.”

Toby yawns from the other end. “I think I’m ready to give sleep another go. See you in the morning, Queen Viper.”

“See you, Warhammer.”

Both Toby and Claire sleep peacefully that night.

 

* * *

 

 

Claire plops down next to him, smiling softly. She points to the controller on the ground.

“Can I?” she asks.

“I thought you were doing homework,” he states, confused. “Was I being too loud? I can lower the volume, if you want.”

She shakes her head. “Hey,” Claire says, “I, uh, I know I’m not Jim or Aaarrrgghh, but I’d like to give being your player two a shot, if you’d let me.”

Toby beams. “I would love to be your player one, Claire.”

“Okay,” she says. “How do you play?”

(They end up playing all of Toby’s games that require two players — everything but Go Go Sushi because that still brings back too much memories. It’s a fun night, allowing them to let go of breaths they didn’t even know they were holding, and there are knots in their chests that are finally — _finally_ released.)

 

* * *

 

 

The world keeps spinning.

Claire and Toby make it through their own hard times, developing a new bond. They still fight, they can’t help not to, but their new friendship is stronger than any argument. It works, the two of them, and sometimes they go to the movies together for the heck of it. Claire cooks for Toby, too, sometimes, and he can say that without a doubt, she is one of the best cooks to ever live.

Things do get better. Things fall back into place like puzzle pieces, even when some are still missing. The sun rises everyday, and soon, they make it through.

And it’s a pretty uneventful day when something finally happens. They’re examining the Killahead Bridge for clues, for another way to open it. Toby is blasting a Papa Skull song, and Claire dances along with it in rhythm, her eyes staring at the bridge as she does.

And that’s when it comes back to life.

It lights up blue, as bright and taunting as ever. Circles dance on the ground, and Claire yelps, moving backwards. She glances at Toby, who looks just as confused.

Blinky doesn’t move. “Could it be…?”

Claire’s heart is racing when a figure steps out of the dark bridge, their silhouette emerging out of nowhere.

Toby’s hand finds hers and squeezes it tight. Heart caught in her throat, Claire forces herself to squeeze back. Light shines on the person, and she can’t find anything to say when she sees who it is.

After months, after too many night staying up late trying to find more solutions, after phone calls of reassurance, after all the worrying, after all of _this_ — he’s finally home.

 _Jim_.

**Author's Note:**

> hmu at superishs.tumblr.com!!


End file.
